Go East or West (When Relieving Yourselves)
The “Turn East or West So Your Ass Isn’t Pointing at Mecca” Hadith: Sahih Bukhari’s Toilet Direction Rules That Expose Islam as 7th-Century Tribal Taboo
Pragmatic Introduction for Polemicists This hadith is peak man-made cult control. The supposed Creator of the universe is personally obsessed with which direction your asshole faces while you shit or piss. Muslims in Hijaz must turn east or west so their backside never points at the Kaaba (a black stone cube full of pagan idols). Combine this with the right-hand ban, no bones/dung (because jinn eat them), Satan’s left-hand eating rule, and the Prophet himself urinating standing — and you have total ritual domination over every bathroom visit. This isn’t divine guidance for humanity. This is a desert warlord enforcing pagan-era superstitions to keep followers mentally enslaved 24/7.
The Hadith Text (Sahih Bukhari)
Abu Ayyub al-Ansari narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: ‘When you go to relieve yourselves, neither face the qiblah nor turn your backs to it. Rather turn east or west.’ (See also the etiquette for which hand to use. It is also important to know what is forbidden to use for cleaning.)
Sources & Online Links:
- Sahih al-Bukhari 394 – Book of Prayer (Kitab al-Salat), Chapter on facing the Qibla https://sunnah.com/bukhari:394
- Parallel narration: Sahih Muslim 262–264 https://sunnah.com/muslim:262
(The note about Hijaz-specific direction is standard in fiqh commentaries; for other regions, one must calculate so the Qibla is neither faced nor backed.)
Authenticity
Sahih al-Bukhari — the single most trusted book in Islam after the Quran. Graded sahih by Imam Bukhari himself. Repeated in Sahih Muslim and other collections. No weak-chain excuses. This is mainstream, undisputed Islamic law on toilet etiquette.
Critical Polemical Analysis: Why This Screams “Man-Made”
- God Micromanaging Your Ass Direction The eternal Lord of the Universe cares which way your backside points while defecating? Muslims must literally calculate geography so Mecca isn’t offended by human waste. This is not spirituality — this is fetishistic idolatry where a building in Arabia controls your bowel movements.
- Direct Pagan Holdover Pre-Islamic Arabs already had Qibla-like sacred directions. Muhammad kept the obsession and added bathroom rules. Same pattern as the kissing Black Stone, jinn-eating bones, and spitting bans: old pagan taboos rebranded as “respect for Allah.”
- Combined with the Full Toilet Ritual Package
- Right hand forbidden for cleaning or holding private parts
- Bones and dung banned because “they are food for your jinn brothers”
- Satan eats and drinks with his left hand
- Muhammad himself urinated standing (Bukhari 247) Every single bodily function is turned into a sacred performance. Perfect mind control.
- “Respect Because Allah Is in Front During Prayer” Excuse The hadith commentaries claim this shows “respect” since Allah is “in front” toward the Qibla in prayer. So now God is physically located in one direction like a pagan idol? This directly contradicts the Quran’s claim that Allah is not limited by space.
- Hijaz-Centric Rule Proves Local Invention The instruction to “turn east or west” only makes sense in Medina (where Qibla was south). For the rest of the planet it requires calculations — exactly what a 7th-century Arab leader would say to his local followers, not a universal message for all humanity until Judgment Day.
Bottom Line for Any Honest Observer
This hadith does not sound like the words of the All-Powerful Creator who designed human biology. It sounds exactly like what a 7th-century Arabian tribal chief steeped in pagan superstition would say to his followers: “When you shit, don’t point your ass at my holy cube in Mecca — turn east or west, use your left hand, don’t use bones because the jinn are eating them, and remember Satan uses his left too.”
Qibla-facing ass ban. Jinn poop-bone menu. Satan’s left-hand etiquette. Prophet pissing standing.
This is not revelation. This is man-made desert tribal taboo and cult ritual control dressed up as eternal divine guidance.
The fact that it sits in Sahih Bukhari alongside naked Moses chasing stones, golden locusts raining on naked Job, and demon-wrestling stories proves your entire case: Islam is nothing but 7th-century Arabian paganism and survival superstition with a prophet’s name on it.
