Allah Sits on the Throne and the Throne Creaks Under His Weight Like a Saddle Under a Rider
Imagine the so-called Creator of the Universe, the god of over a billion Muslims, plopping down on a cosmic chair so enormous that it creaks under his hefty backside—like a cheap saddle groaning under some overweight Bedouin rider. This isn’t some fringe fairy tale from the Arabian deserts; it’s straight from a hadith attributed to Muhammad himself, preserved in Islamic texts like Abu Dawud’s Sunan and Kanz al-Ummal. Jubayr ibn Mut’im reports the prophet screeching: Woe to you! No one can intercede with Allah for anyone. Woe to you! Do you know what Allah is? Allah is above His Throne, and His Throne is upon His heavens, and His earth is like a dome. It creaks under Him like a saddle creaks under a rider.
This grotesque image isn’t meant to exalt; it’s a damning revelation of Islam’s core absurdity. Allah Sits on the Throne and the Throne Creaks Under His Weight Like a Saddle Under a Rider—exposing the satanic fraud at the heart of this man-made religion. What kind of omnipotent deity needs a throne that buckles like furniture from IKEA? This hadith doesn’t affirm transcendence; it drags Allah down to the level of a corporeal buffoon, riddled with human frailties. Islam’s defenders twist themselves into pretzels to explain it, but the truth is glaring: Muhammad’s Allah is no different from the pagan idols he claimed to smash—a limited, physical entity concocted from 7th-century superstitions.
The Shaky Authenticity of Allah Sits on the Throne and the Throne Creaks Under His Weight Like a Saddle Under a Rider
Let’s dissect this hadith’s so-called isnad (chain of narration), the flimsy rope Muslims cling to for credibility. Abu Dawud includes it in his Sunan, traced back to Jubayr ibn Mut’im, a companion who supposedly heard Muhammad rant about intercession and thrones. Kanz al-Ummal, a massive scrapbook of hadiths compiled by Ali ibn Abd al-Malik al-Hindi in the 10th century, stashes it under Faith. Hadith scholars label it hasan (good)—a step above da’if (weak), but miles below the gold-standard sahih of Bukhari or Muslim. Why? Because even Islamic experts admit gaps and unreliable narrators in the chain.
Yet Muslims parade it as Aqeedah bedrock, aligning it with Quranic snippets like Surah Taha 20:5 (The Most Merciful is above the Throne). This is desperate cherry-picking. Repeat narrations exist, sure, but they’re all from the same echo chamber of oral traditions prone to embellishment. Ahl al-Sunnah wal-Jama’ah weaponize it against deviants like Mu’tazilites, who at least tried rationalizing Allah’s non-corporeality. But affirming a creaking throne? That’s not orthodoxy; it’s idolatry dressed in Arabic rhetoric. The satanic genius of Islam lies here: fabricate attributes so bizarre they demand blind faith, silencing doubt with cries of kufr.
What Does Allah’s Throne Really Represent? A Pagan Relic Exposed
In Islam, the ‘Arsh (Throne) is hyped as creation’s apex, encompassing heavens and earth. Quran verses like Al-A’raf 7:54 and Al-Furqan 25:59 bluster about Allah’s istiva (rising over or establishing Himself) upon it in a manner befitting His majesty. Befitting? Hardly. The hadith’s creaking saddle simile turns the infinite into the infinitesimal—a god so heavy his furniture protests.
Orthodox scholars like Ahmad ibn Hanbal and Ibn Taymiyyah insist on affirming without questioning how (ithbat bi la kaifiyyah), rejecting anthropomorphism (tashbih) while embracing it anyway. Tanzih (transcendence)? Please—picturing a saddle flexing under divine rump is as anthropomorphic as Zeus on Olympus. Arabs understood saddles intimately; Muhammad weaponized that imagery to bamboozle illiterate nomads into submission. Tawhid al-uluhiyyah? More like tawhid al-tashbih, oneness of mockery.
Contrast this with the Biblical God: spirit without body (John 4:24), not lounging on a squeaky stool. Islam’s Throne reeks of pre-Islamic paganism—Allah inherits Hubal’s traits from the Kaaba, now sanctified fraud. Eight angels haul it on Judgment Day (Quran 69:17)? Sounds like Greek mythology’s Atlas, not monotheism.
Scholarly Insights That Crumble Under Scrutiny
Classical fraud-enablers pile on the nonsense. Al-Tabari links the creak to divine glory, as if noise proves perfection. Ibn Kathir references hadiths of thrones praising with thunder—auditory hallucinations Muhammad peddled as revelation. Ibn Abi al-Izz in Sharh al-Aqeedah al-Tahawiyyah claims it’s not frailty but exaltation. Exaltation? A god needing butt-support isn’t exalted; he’s embarrassing.
Sahih Bukhari has Jibril claiming the Throne shakes from praise—shakes? What omnipotence allows seismic furniture? Modern Salafis like al-Albani call supports sahih, Ibn Uthaymeen uses it to dunk on Mu’tazila rationalists. But rationality exposes the scam: a transcendent god with weight? Satanic inversion, making the Creator like creation.
The Fraudulent Implications for Faith and Worship
This creaking throne isn’t trivia; it’s Islam’s theological Achilles’ heel, propping up a house of cards. It rails against Jahmiyyah (who denied aboveness) and Ash’aris (who allegorize), demanding literalism that paints Allah as a giant blob. Invoke him above the Throne in du’a? You’re praying to a celestial sultan with saddle sores.
Practical worship? Visualize the creak in ruku’ and sujud for khushu’ (reverence). Pathetic—turning prayer into theater for a defective deity. The Hour folds creation like a scroll (21:104), Throne expands (Muslim)—yet it creaks now? Inconsistent drivel.
Daily life? This counters secular doubts? No, it invites them. True faith needs no squeaky props; Christianity’s God is unchanging perfection (Malachi 3:6), not a wobbling throne-sitter.
Theological Absurdity: Beyond the Physical? Hardly
The Arabic yasqurun (creaking) mimics prostration praises like Subhana Rabbiyal A’la. Heavens glorify (57:1), Throne as chief—a cosmic orchestra conducted by a hefty maestro. Universe a ring in a desert (Bukhari), Kursi a footstool (Muslim)—hierarchy of inanities dwarfing before… what? A fat god?
Critics right to balk at weight—similes (kasb) limit Allah to human terms, contradicting his unique essence. Istiva as real, unique? Tautology hiding contradiction: neither sitting nor void, yet creaking. Pure satanic sleight-of-hand.
Exposing the Satanic Core: Muhammad’s Invented Idol
Peel back the layers, and the fraud unravels. Muhammad, epileptic visionary or demonic deceiver, crafted this to control tribes—thrones symbolize kingship, creaking asserts unchallenged might. No intercession without permission? Power grab, ensuring loyalty flows only through him.
Islam apes Judaism (Throne in Isaiah 6) but carnalizes it—no holy seraphim, just groaning furniture. Satanic, indeed: Revelation 13 warns of beast-worship; Islam’s Throne-god demands prostration like the Antichrist’s image.
Quranic beauties crumble: Allah’s hands (38:75), shins (68:42), footsteps (Gog/Magog trampling)—a bodybuilder in the sky. Hadiths detail Kursi size (heaven but ring), Pen dripping pre-creation—comic book cosmology.
Scholars’ contortions? Ta’wil (allegory) for elites, literal for masses—divide-and-conquer deception. Ash’aris/Jahmis get excommunicated, Salafis rage—internal rot proves fraud.
Why Allah Sits on the Throne and the Throne Creaks Under His Weight Like a Saddle Under a Rider Proves Islam’s Demise
In conclusion, Allah Sits on the Throne and the Throne Creaks Under His Weight Like a Saddle Under a Rider stands as Islam’s most self-incriminating confession. From Abu Dawud to Kanz al-Ummal, it parades a puerile god—material, limited, laughable. No transcendence, just pagan residue Muhammad merchandised as monotheism.
This satanic fraud thrives on intimidation: question it, you’re doomed. Yet truth liberates—Christianity offers incorporeal eternity (1 Timothy 1:17), not creaky chairs. Woe to Muslims enslaved by whispers (Quran 114 hints at satanic jinn). Bliss awaits escapees affirming the true God.
Let this creak echo: Islam collapses under scrutiny. Reject the fraud; embrace reality. May eyes open before the Throne that won’t testify for Allah—but against him (36:65 twisted). Amen.
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