Allah Sits on a Rooster and Converses with It (Cock-a-doodle-doo)
Imagine the most absurd fairy tale you’ve ever heard—now crank it up to cosmic levels of ridiculousness. Welcome to Islam’s “sacred” teachings, where Allah, the supposed supreme deity, perches in some barnyard fantasy, chatting with a giant rooster whose spurs stab through the Earth like a deranged chicken from hell. This isn’t satire; it’s straight from an “authentic” hadith endorsed by top Islamic scholars. Allah sits on a rooster and converses with it? Cock-a-doodle-doo indeed—but this crow signals not dawn, but the crumbling facade of a satanic fraud masquerading as divine revelation. In this exposé, we’ll dismantle this cosmic rooster nonsense piece by grotesque piece, revealing Islam’s theology as the laughable, deceptive cult it truly is.
The “Authentic” Hadith of the Cosmic Rooster: A Scholarly Sham
At the heart of this idiocy lies a hadith from Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah by Sheikh Muhammad Nasiruddin al-Albani, the self-proclaimed gold standard of hadith verifiers. Buried in his section on “The Beginning, Prophets, and Wonders of Creation,” here’s the full, unadulterated lunacy:
> Allah has permitted me to speak about a rooster whose feet have pierced the earth, and whose neck is bent under the Throne. It says: ‘Glory be to You, how great You are, our Lord!’ And He replies to it: ‘One who swears falsely by Me does not know that.’
You can gawk at the Arabic source yourself: http://arabic.islamicweb.com/Books/albani.asp?id=4852. Al-Albani slaps a “sahih” (authentic) label on it, claiming impeccable chains of transmission back to Muhammad. But let’s call this what it is: a desperate authentication of delirium. In Islam’s hadith obsession, “sahih” means nothing more than “Muslims really, really wanted it to be true.” This isn’t divine knowledge of the unseen (ghayb); it’s Muhammad’s fever-dream mythology, peddled as prophecy to bamboozle the gullible.
Why does this matter? Because Islam hinges on these hadiths for 90% of its “guidance.” If the cosmic rooster is “sahih,” what’s next—Allah arm-wrestling a whale? This exposes the entire system as a house of cards built on Bronze Age bedtime stories, a satanic con job designed to enslave minds with superstition.
Unveiling the Cosmic Rooster: Absurd Size, Satanic Scale
Visualize the blasphemy: a rooster so gargantuan its talons puncture the Earth’s crust, stretching from hellish depths to the “highest heavens.” Its scrawny neck? Bent submissively under Allah’s Throne (al-‘Arsh), that mythical blimp-sized chair Quran 20:5 claims the “Most Merciful” lorded over like a sultan on steroids. Islamic cosmology paints the Throne as vast as a desert swallowing a ring—yet here’s Allah, cozying up to poultry.
This feathered freak squawks eternally: “Subhana ka ma a’ntak Rabbana!” (Glory be to You, how great You are, our Lord!). Echoing Quran 17:44’s claim that everything from stars to stones tasbihs Allah, it’s the ultimate bootlicker. But the punchline? Allah chats back: “One who swears falsely by Me does not know that.” Oh, the irony—a god who reprimands liars by bragging about His pet chicken’s sycophancy.
This isn’t majestic; it’s juvenile cartoonery. Allah sits on a rooster and converses with it, reducing the Creator of universes to a farmer schmoozing livestock. Compare this to the Bible’s majestic throne room (Isaiah 6) or God’s voice thundering from Sinai—no roosters needed. Islam’s version screams fraud: Muhammad, a 7th-century caravan raider, recycling pagan myths with a barnyard twist to wow illiterate Arabs. Satanic? Absolutely—this mockery of transcendence deceives billions into worshiping absurdity.
Theological Depths: Allah’s Chicken Chat as Satanic Mockery
The title’s cock-a-doodle-doo jeer isn’t exaggeration; it captures the hadith’s essence. Muhammad claims Allah “permitted” this revelation, as if the Almighty needs poultry permission slips. It ties into other gems like Sahih Bukhari’s dawn-crowing rooster or bird-angels ferrying messages—Islam’s unseen realm is a demonic petting zoo.
Quran 20:5’s “above the Throne” anthropomorphism already humanizes Allah into a throne-squatter. Add a groveling rooster, and it’s pagan idolatry repackaged. Unlike Judaism’s incorporeal God or Christianity’s transcendent Trinity, Islam’s deity banters with beasts, evoking ancient Near Eastern cock-worship (yes, roosters symbolized fertility gods in pre-Islamic Arabia).
Scholars like Ibn Kathir twist themselves into pretzels defending this, but it’s tawhid (oneness) turned farce. Al-Albani’s “da’wah” tool? More like a self-own, perfect for atheists to mock. Allah sits on a rooster and converses with it—proof positive of Muhammad’s hallucinations, inspired not by Gabriel, but by Satan’s snicker.
Wonders of Creation? Islam’s Freakshow of Fraud
The cosmic rooster joins Islam’s gallery of grotesques: mountains gossiping (95:6), sun and moon prostrating (36:40), Throne-bearing angels with Earth-spanning legs (Imam Ahmad’s hadiths). It’s a universe where physics bows to fairy tales, all “glorifying” Allah in ways humans “don’t understand”—convenient cop-out for unverifiable drivel.
Tafakkur (contemplation)? More like brainwashing. Imagine this rooster’s “thunderous” crow drowning galaxies—yet no telescope spots it. Science unveils black holes and quantum realms; Islam counters with cosmic KFC. This isn’t harmony with discovery; it’s willful ignorance, a satanic veil blinding followers to reality.
Ibn Kathir and Al-Qurtubi pile on similar absurdities, chaining them to “verified sunnah” while ignoring contradictions. Skeptics rejoice: every “sahih” rooster sinks Muhammad’s credibility, exposing Islam as the satanic fraud it is— a plagiarism of Jewish and Christian lore, distorted for Arab supremacy.
## The Dangers of the Cosmic Rooster in Modern Life
Don’t dismiss this as harmless whimsy; it poisons everything. Muslims swear oaths on this nonsense, blind to the hypocrisy it rebukes. In courts, marriages, jihad vows—false oaths abound, proving the rooster’s “lesson” a flop.
Sincerity? Islam’s prayers are rote rituals, echoing a chicken’s squawk. Awe? It fosters credulity, rejecting evolution for jinn-infested fairy tales. False oaths warning? Pot calling kettle—Quran permits taqiyya (lying for Islam), Muhammad’s own oaths flipped like pancakes (Sahih Bukhari).
Parents indoctrinate kids with cock-a-doodle-doo dawah, grooming future terrorists with myths. In 2023’s world of AI and space travel, clinging to rooster revelations signals mental chains. Science thrives; Islam stagnates, its ummah wallowing in medieval muck.
This hadith fuels extremism: if Allah chats chickens, why not fly planes into towers for houris? Ex-Muslims cite such absurdities when fleeing the cult—rightly so.
Lessons to Escape the Satanic Snare
Time for truth bombs:
1. Scrutiny Over Surrender: Demand evidence. Chains of narrators? Fallible humans lying for status.
2. Mock the Myths: Allah sits on a rooster and converses with it—laugh it off as the fraud it is.
3. Embrace Reason: Christianity’s resurrection has witnesses; Islam’s rooster, only dreamers.
4. Warn the Deceived: Share this with Muslims—plant seeds of doubt in Satan’s garden.
Islam’s defenders cry “metaphor!” But sahih means literal. Al-Albani didn’t authenticate allegory; he stamped fantasy.
Conclusion: Ditch the Cosmic Rooster, Embrace Reality
The hadith of the cosmic rooster isn’t revelation—it’s revelation’s reductio ad absurdum. From earth-piercing spurs to Throne-kissing neck, Allah sits on a rooster and converses with it in a dialogue damning the dishonest. Preserved by apologists like al-Albani, it’s the smoking gun of Islam’s satanic fraud: Muhammad’s invention to mesmerize masses, now crumbling under scrutiny.
Don’t dive deeper into delusion—reject it. Let this cock-a-doodle-doo be Islam’s death knell. Glory to truth, not to a god who gossips with gallinaceous grotesques. Free your mind from this demonic deceit; the real wonders await beyond the barnyard veil.
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